Halloween Is For Goths, Metal Heads, Nerds, Trannys & The Gays (J/K!)

As you can probably tell, we're not huge fans of Halloween or horror movies (classic ones sure, but we mostly just have disdain for the majority of the insipid dreck, sorry). Nor do we have the time or inclination to make Halloween flavored features. But it is the ghoul's holiday (happy birthday Rob Zombie!) so we figured we'd point to other (the AV/Club mostly) who have some fun Halloween-seasoned features.

23 Ridiculous Horror-Movie Adversaries. Then nerdlingers at the Onion's entertainment site go through the various and plentiful awful and preposterous adversaries that have been pitted against retarded, naked teenagers in shitty C-grade horror films since the beginning of shitty C-grade horror films came into existence. [AV/ Club]

14 Songs About Vampires. The aforementioned lovable dorks take a look at 14 songs about bastardly bloodsuckers. No, they're not about record labels. [AV/Club]

24 Hours Of Horror With...The Onion's reporters ask one of the biggest tools in Hollywood, let alone the horror industry, backward baseball cap-wearing date-rate olympian Eli Roth to pick the films that would make up his 24 hour horror film marathon. He does pick the original "The Vanishing," "Suspiria" and "Eraserhead," so maybe he's not completely worthless. [AV/Club]

Year-By-Year With Friday The 13th. This is becoming near-frightening. One of their writers either re-watched all the Friday The 13th movies and breaks them down or already knew everything about them by heart. We're not sure which one is more terrifying. [AV/Club]

My Year Of Flops Case File #80 Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. For no other reason other than it is tied to Halloween (cause it's certainly not good in any sense of the word), the Onion kids look back on the flop that was "Mary Shelley's Frankenstien" basically for the same reason a dog licks its balls. [AV/Club]

How Do You Survive A Zombie Attack? MTV asks Sam Raimi, Eli Roth, Quentin Tarantio, Roger Avary, Bruce Campbell and other adults that make scary movies for a living how to fend off creatures that don't actually exist. [MTV]

Roman Polanski's amazing absurdist psycho-drama "The Tenant" set to Sisters of Mercy