RIP Joel Siegel

Affable and sanguine film critic Joel Siegel died on Friday at the age of 63 after a long battle with colon cancer. Siegel had been a film critic for ABC for 27 years. As a critic he was far more cheekier, pithy and biting than someone who reported for "Good Morning America" should have been. He was mostly harmless, but will always remain dear in our hearts for walking out of Kevin Smith's retard olympiad, "Clerks II." The walrus-mustachioed critic uncharacteristically walked out of the theater during the film and spit aloud in total disgust, "First movie I've ever walked out on in 30 fucking years." Rest In Peace.

Sonic Youth Contribute To Dylan Film, Call Starbucks Release 'Radical'

A controversy has been, ahem, brewing over Sonic Youth's recent announcement that they would be releasing a compilation via the Starbucks recording label. The seminal art-rockers t0ld Pitchforkmedia that they would be releasing a quasi-greatest hits compilation as curated by famous friends; folks like Wilco's Jeff Tweedy, Beck, Eddie Vedder, comedian David Cross, fashion designer Marc Jacobs, writer Dave Eggers, and actresses Portia de Rossi, Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny.

Indie kids still living in their parents basement, bereft of concrete responsibility both intangible and fiduciary, cried foul labelling the alterna-rockers "sell outs" and other insensitive name callings. These whiners saw the move as traitorous; a blasphemous maneuver against the Youth's supposed punk-rock principals, but SY's Thurston Moore laughed off the naysayers admitting the band had already made numerous inroads to see how the corporate other half lived.

"I never thought of it as being more radical than recording for Universal Music. They're both corporations that have ties to things that people find sort of problematic," Moore told Billboard, adding the group originally wanted Rather Ripped to come out on the Starbucks label, but the scheduling didn't work out.

"I like the absurdity of it. Sonic Youth has always, in a way, made itself available to the super mainstream. We've always had access to the MTV culture and being there -- without selling the kinds of numbers or records that MTV bands sell. It's sort of interesting to go there and represent ourselves. Doing a release through Starbucks is similar."

Moore also noted that the band were recording a Bob Dylan song for Todd Hayne's upcoming surrealist Bob Dylan biopic, "I'm Not There." Which Dylan song SY recorded he didn't say (and Billboard didn't bother to ask.The Dylan song is an unreleased track, named after the film). Moore's first solo record in 12 years, Trees Outside The Academy, comes out in September.

Download: Sonic Youth - "Corporate Ghost"
Download: Sonic Youth - "Major Label Chicken Feed"
Download: Sonic Youth "Youth Against Fascism"

Classic Clip: Ben Affleck Gropes Montreal Reporter

Man, this one is hard to watch. An apparently very soused Ben Affleck groped a Montreal reporter during the "Jersey Girl" junket, putting her on his lap and going on at length about her breasteses. Apparently, she was/is known for her seductive ways onair asking a lot of sexual questions, but this goes above and beyond any kind of joke. Possibly not even realizing the camera were rolling or too drunk to care, Affleck fondled away and it goes on and on and on. We'd get drunk for starring in "Jersey Girl" too, but this is pretty brutal. A little sample.
Affleck: You usually show a lot more cleavage than this, what's the story?
Female Interviewer: It's Sunday morning!
Affleck: Sunday morning? That never stopped you before from getting them titties out. Who you trying to fool? Sunday morning, You'd be at church having that rack on display.

Danny Boyle Talks Sunshine And Trainspotting 2

There was a screening of Danny Boyle's highly-anticipated new sci-fi film, "Sunshine," (thanks for inviting us, fuckers) on Wednesday night at Tribeca cinemas and Boyle discussed the psychological space drama with our old colleague Kurt Loder at MTVNews (I know what you're thinking, fuck you, Loder rules).

When asked why carnal love scenes didn't usually appear in sci-fi films, Boyle said they simply didn't work. "There's very few films that show relationships in space, like romance of any kind, which is an obvious thing with a young cast like this—Chris Evans, Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne. You think it would develop romantically," Boyle told Radar. "We tried it, we wrote some stuff, and it was just embarrassing." As further proof, the director added, "In 2010, the sequel to 2001, there's a relationship ... and it doesn't really work. It's just a bit cringing."

About the "Trainspotting 2" sequel Boyle's been championing intermittently over the last few years he said that much like the novel's sequel, "Porno," the characters would be over two decades over and a little worse for wear. "They are deliberately middle-aged. The hedonists that have abused and taken their bodies to the absolute limit of tolerance are at an age where you can no longer do that—which I have personal experience with, also."

No word on whether he'd somehow convince Ewan McGregor to appear in the film. Last time we checked, the rest of the cast was eager to do it, but McGregor has already insisted, he wouldn't be interested in reprising the role.

Morning ShortCuts: "Alienate People," Donnie Darko Director Returns

- One of our favorite books, "How To Lose Friends And Alienate People" is getting a big screen adaptation. Based on British writer Toby Young's memoir about his disastrous stay in New York writing for Vanity Fair and overlord boss-from-hell Graydon Carter (think "The Devil Wears Prada" for the pseudo-cultured Upper Westside-set), the film will star Simon Pegg (Young), Megan Fox, Kirsten Dunst, Jeff Bridges (Carter) and Danny Huston. [Hollywood Reporter] Ironically, this Vanity Fair article explains much of Young's cultural reasons for failing miserably.
- Cameron Diaz will star in "The Box," a horror film to be directed by "Donnie Darko" helmer Richard Kelly. Meanwhile, Kelly's poorly received sci-fi film, "Southland Tales" which was finished in 2006, looks like it's never getting a proper release? Though Wikipedia says it will find itself a March 2008 release. [Variety]
- Christian Bale says don't worry, the new Joker (played by Heath Ledger) will be more realistic. "We try to ground [the cartoon characters] in somewhat more reality than the other movies," Bale said. [MTV]

Original Transformers Soundtrack Rocker Will Milk Every Dime He Can From 'Touch'

Stan Bush, the '80s rocker who wrote the uplifting anthem to the original 1986 "Transformers" animated movie, is apparently scheduled to perform at the upcoming nerd-festival, err, sci-fi-comics convention ComicCon.

Via Idolator.

Stan to perform at Transformers convention BotCon 2007

LOS ANGELES, CA (June 28, 2007)--The new Stan Bush album, In This Life, is scheduled for release on Tuesday, July 3. Praised as a world-class rock singer, Stan Bush is best known for his song "The Touch" featured in the "Transformers" movie. Stan includes "The Touch" as a bonus track on his U.S. release, as well as "Til All Are One", the theme song for the Transformers convention (BotCon) being held June 28 - July 1. Stan will be a featured performer at the convention.

Stan's new album In This Life is his 10th studio release and includes songs that have kept to the heart of his style, but at the same time express a contemporary vibe. Produced by Holger Fath, the album is one of his best ever with a few ballads, powerful anthems, and some mid-paced melodic rockers throughout.

Bush's new Transformer-centric pimped-out Myspace page is a hilarious must-see. He will milk this association for all it's worth.

"The Touch"

Elisha Cuthbert Claims Torture Porn Is Actually Feminism?

"I set out to make a film about a woman who fights for her life and comes out in the end sort of strong and learns something from her experience."- Foxy intellectual and noted philosopher Elisha Cuthbert shrugs off the controversy surrounding her upcoming torture porn film, "Captivity," and pathetically attempts to defend the movie's enslaved and sadistic treatment of women. [Cinematical]

Duly Noted: Paul McCartney, Ryan Adams, Adam McKay

"There's quite a few [of my solo career songs that I like… There's one called... "Waterfalls," I think is nice. In fact, somebody had a hit, a few years ago, using the first line, "Don't go jumping waterfalls / Please stick to the lake…" And then they go off into another song. It's like, "Excuse me?" Aging, perhaps senile Beatle Paul McCartney insists that TLC's 1994 slo-jam, "Waterfalls,"nicked the first few lines of his mostly unheard 1980 solo track. [A/V Club]

"A good example would be a Woody Allen movie. He can be telling a story in first person, but it's sort of implied that it's not about Woody Allen in his actual life, like he actually lived the story of Manhattan or Broadway Danny Rose. So I always have to remember that I am the narrator, but it doesn't have to be about me." - Formerly self-involved drug addict/overly prolific songwriter Ryan Adams tries to apply cinema-inspired songwriting ideas to his every day life. [A/V Club]

"Literally, Pearl got offered a movie off of it. Somebody came to CAA with a project with Jackie Chan and wanted to attach Pearl to it," FunnyorDie.com founder and proud father of Pearl Mckay, (the wonder acting toddler who starred in the immensely popular "The Landlord" short), Adam McKay wisely decides to retire his daughter from appearing in any more shorts with his writing partner, Will Ferrell. [Washington Post]

"How do you even faint in a chair? Is that possible? I know someone vomited once. And perhaps people felt faint. I would understand that. And I kind of like it in a way; it's like a fair ride. It's meant to be scary, but you laugh afterwards." - Perpetual sexual titillater, bi-sexual actor Alan Cummings remains unconvinced at the reports that audiences fainted to S&M-like scenes in his new film, Suffering Man's Charity. The Post reported that some viewers were outraged at a gruesome torture scene with a whip. [Radar]

Download: Ryan Adams - "Goodnight Rose"
Download: Paul McCartney - "Too Much Rain"
Download: TLC - "Waterfalls"

Circle Of Life: Moore Influences Borat Influences Moore

Portly muckracker Michael Moore claims his gonzo comedian buddy Borat (aka Sascha Baron Cohen) helped him grow the brass balls to sail into Guantanamo Bay.

The two had met at the 2006 Toronto International Film Festival where 'Borat: Cultural Learnings' had its premiere and once there, Cohen confessed to Moore that his dogged pursuit of jackass corporate overlords in his early documentaries had inspired him (when the 'Borat' reel actually broke down during its Toronto premiere, it was Moore who got onstage to entertain the restless crowd until the film was fixed).

Borat's aggressive pursuit and relentless committment to making audiences feel uncomfortable in turn influenced Moore.

When Cohen related his admission, Moore shot back, "But I've never done anything like wrestle naked with another guy on the floor of an insurance-brokers or mortgage-brokers convention."

But after watching the film and hearing Cohen's inspired remarks, Moore knew what had to be done. "If [Cohen] says I was an inspiration for those things, I now have to up the ante. So we sailed into the mined waters of Guantanamo Bay with sick 9/11 workers and a bullhorn" (and Moore is currently being investigated by the U.S. government for going to the trouble).

Germany Reneges On "Nein!" To Tom Cruise

Just when you thought you could rely on the German commitment to obdurate pride, our Teutonic friends have done a goose-stepping about face.

Originally, German Defence Minister Harald Kammerbauer, had issued a vehement denial to the production company that wanted to bring Tom Cruise's "Valkyrie" to Germany, saying the film makers would "not be allowed to film at German military sites if Count Stauffenberg is played by Tom Cruise, who has publicly professed to being a member of the Scientology 'cult'."

Germans have no love lost for Scientology religion, as Reuter notes:

The German government does not recognize Scientology as a religion and sees it instead as a dangerous cult, which brainwashes and exploits its members. Scientology is under official observation by Germany authorities as a potentially threat to German democracy, putting the organization on par with neo-Nazi groups.

But it appears the cult has some purse strings they have pulled. The ministry now claims they haven't received an official from "Valkyrie" producers, but would "look agreeably" upon any application.

The head of German Fisser film studios said of the project: "The assassination attempt against Hitler is hardly known outside Germany. We should therefore be delighted and welcome this wonderful opportunity to improve the image of our country."

The upshot is that "Valkyrie" is a Bryan Singer ("X-2," "Superman Returns") film that reunites the comic-book centric director with "The Usual Suspects" scribe, Christopher McQuarrie. Still we would have loved to have seen Cruise snubbed so globally.

Afro-Punk Begins At BAM

- BAM's Afro-Punk Festival runs June 28- July 5 and features the Sun-Ra film, "Space Is The Place," D.A. Pennebaker's "Jimi Plays Monterey," Cinqué Lee's (Spike Lee's brother) "UR4 Given," the Assata Shakur Black Panther documentary, "Eyes of the Rainbow," Samuel Fuller's controversial and raciaslist, career-killing "White Dog," "Bad Brain Shorts" and "A Conversation With Basquiat" - Directed by Tamra Davis (Mike-D's wife and the director of "Billy Madison") the film has been unseen for years and features some of the only known video of Basquiat working.

"We're providing an opportunity for alternative black programming and thinking," said James Spooner the director of the titular 2003 doc "Afro-Punk."

Download: Bad Brains "Pay To Cum"
Download: Bad Brains "Soul Craft"
Download: Building Better Bombs - "Winter 01"
Download: McRad - "Hesitation"
Download: The Jai Alal Savant - "Scarlett Johansen Why Don't You Love Me"
Download: The Carps - "Drone 2"

One Of These Girls Is Not Like The Others

Aww, look it's the Spice Girls. They're reuniting and before we can wretch at their, "we've returned!" announcement plans, we look at this nice photo of the fresh-faced girls looking rather normal, laidback and happy in their own skin (a little like mature Neutrogena Girls), and we think, 'how can you hate on them'? (aside from their music). However, one of them is still pure, disgusting bulimic, spray-tanned, trying-way-to-hard evil incarnate. Can you guess which one? Can you? :)

Viggo Mortensen Will Cut Off Your Nutsack In New Cronenberg Trailer

The trailer or David Cronenberg's upcoming "Eastern Promises" is online. Due in the early fall, the film reteams Cro with his "A History of Violence" star Viggo Mortensen as a ruthlessly bad-ass Russian mobster who will take a cheese grater to your knuckles just for fun. Naomi Watts plays a midwife, and French actor Vincent Casell (who also has a penchant for sociopath roles) plays yet another muderous fuck. It looks more thriller-ish and engaging then most cerebral Cronenberg films.

Hold The Phone: Iggy Pop Biopic Jumps The Gun?

We have no agreement yet to even do the film. The producers have got big mouths and keep jumping the gun." - Maybe Frodo won't play Iggy Pop? Pop (née James Osterberg) says Elijah Wood and the producers of the biopic based on his life might want to shut the fuck up until the ink is dry.[Gigwise]

"Coldplay are the modern Beatles, so I'd love to do a duet with them, especially Chris Martin." - Justin Timberlake, apparently suffering from massive head trauma and sunstroke, makes a viciously slanderous remark to the memory of the Fab Four. [DigitalSpy]

Download: Iggy Pop - "Tell Me A Story"

Paris Hilton Life Changes, Ferry Trades In For A New Updated Model

"I'm glad it happened in a way because it's changed my life forever. I feel stronger than ever and, I don't know, I feel like this is a lesson in disguise." - Paris Hilton tells perennial softball interviewer Larry King that a harrowing 23 day stay of horrific first-class incarceration has compelled her to cure cancer, hug random puppies and become the new Mother Theresa instead of flashing her bush to US Weekly on the regular. [AP]

"It’s a combination of me being, dare I say, young at heart, and Katie having an old head on young shoulders. She’s very old-fashioned, in a way." - Roxy Music suavester Bryan Ferry explains how he navigates the travails of a May December romance that spans umm... 35 years (the sartorialist is 61, his girlfriend is 26). [Time Out]

"I would wish him well, and ask him to please bring the troops (in Iraq) home." - Muckracker Michael Moore softly wishes Dubya well. Perhaps that impending Cuba investigation is making him lose his nerve? [Reuters]

Download: Bryan Ferry "If Not For You"

The Round Up: Wes Anderson To Open Up The New York Film Festival, Ryan Gosling, Mos Def

- Wes Anderson's upcoming film, the "The Darjeeling Limited," will open the 45 annual New York Film Festival on September 28. This finally give us a hard deadline for our sprawling 3-disc, "If I Were Wes Anderson" opus (finish the fucking thing already, Christ). Festival program director Richard Pena said, "It represents a big step for Wes. I hate to use the word 'matured,' but the humor and whimsy he uses is sharper, better focused and used more effectively. "The Coen brothers new film, "No Country For Old Men" will also screen in a centerpiece slot. [Hollywood Reporter]
- Canadian indie-hottie Ryan Gosling has joined the cast of Peter Jackson's "The Lovely Bones," which also stars Darren Aronofsky's wife, Rachel Weiz. [Variety]
- Multi-talent hyphenate Mos Def will produce and star as the romantic lead in "Bobby Zero." Def will play a losing social satirist who joins the advertising world? Ok, if you say so...[Variety]
- More clips from Danny Boyle's highly anticipated "Sunshine" crop up online. The sci-fi psycho-drama opens July 20. [MTV]
- Sam Rockwell will star in the adaptation of "Fight Club" author Chuck Palahnuik's recent novel, "Choke." [MTV]
- "Elizabeth II" This time its paypack! No, but seriously. Remember the Cate Blanchett star-making period piece film, "Elizabeth"? Blanchett and Indian director Shekhar Kapur have reteamed for a belated sequel. [MSN]
- "JT Leroy" aka recently sued to the tune of $100 grand, fauxuthor Laura Albert says she'd bare it all for Playboy. Umm, please don't. [Page Six]

Morning Dailies: Simpsons Score Zimmer, Andre 3000 Gets Animated, Kuristica Does Gypsie Time

- Academy Award-winning composer Hans Zimmer ("The Thin Red Line") has written, or rather given his elegant touch to the original music for "The Simpsons Movie." The soundtrack disc (due July 24, a few days before the movie's release) features Zimmer's interpretation of the classic Simpsons theme music plus his own original score in the spirit of the remains-to-be-seen-if-it's-funny movie. [IGN]
- A club friendly remix of Zimmer's "Simpsons" theme will be serviced to DJs prior to the album's release [Variety]
- Andre 3000's will release, Class of 3000: Music Volume 1, the music for his Cartoon Network show on July 3. [Pitchfork]
- The wonderfully idiosyncratic world of Serbian filmmaking kook Emir Kusturica ("Underground," "Arizona Dream") has been brought to the Bastille Opera stage in Paris. The French have asked Kusturica to adapt the riotous spectacle that is his own 1988 film, "Time of the Gypsies." He joins the likes of Anthony Minghella, Michael Haneke and more recently, Woody Allen and David Cronenberg as filmmakers directing opera. [New York Times]
- Oh and speaking of the Simpsons, in celebration of the upcoming movie, you can create yourself in the jaundiced eyes of Matt Groening over at the Simpsons site. This is me to the right.[ The Simpsons]

So, Tell Me, Who Was The Walrus?

"Do you feel, Yoko, that The Beatles have kind of surrounded you, that you're forever identified as a Beatle?" - While interviewing the remaining Beatles Paul and Ringo, plus Yoko Ono, Olivia Harrison and Giles Martin, CNN's Larry King proves yet again he is the world's most worthless interviewer. Apparently at one point, he called Ringo, "George." [CNN] Video of the embarrassing event in its entirety can be seen here (these geniuses can't even link the video from the transcript).

"When it came down to it, the staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue." - After years spent desperately chasing the tiniest minutia of celebrity rumors and garbage, gossip-rag US Weekly tries to get all holier than thou by blacking out coverage of Paris Hilton leaving jail. They're probably just sore that TMZ beat them to half of it. [AP]

Kanye West Channels Robots For "Stronger"

Ok, people have been buzzing about Kanye's new video/single for what seems like months now. There was even a premiere party to get the hype machine started. The new Kanye West video (fromt the forthcoming album Graduation) that heavily samples Daft Punk (the song "'Harder, Better, Faster, Stonger") and now, the video, which does the same thing and includes the Gallic robots (or robo-approximates) in the clip. Hype Williams directed it and you have to ask yourself, did the supposedly in-touch Kanye just discover house? This will be one of the 60,000th blog posts hosting this video clip, btw.

Download: Kanye West - "Stronger"
Download: Daft Punk - "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger"

The Hottest State: Soundtrack & Trailer

The indie brats are all abuzz about the Ethan Hawke's "The Hottest State" soundtrack with it's indie-approved artists, Cat Power, Feist, Bright Eyes and M. Ward. How do they feel about the Starbucks-lite associations with Norah Jones and multiple Grammy winner, "The Hottest State," soundtrack composer Jesse Harris (he actually wrote all the songs these totally independent artists covered)? That's really a moral indie problem they're going to figure out on their own (Willie Nelson, has probably accrued enough indie-cache to count too).

For the rest of the world that isn't 15 and punk-rock, the soundtrack is yes, a little light, folky, country and breezy, but there's nothing wrong with sweet, plaintive tunes and many of these songs are simply, beautiful and simple in that traditional Jesse Harris manner (you certainly get Harris-like music when you ask for it). The rest of the soundtrack features Emmylou Harris, Rosario Ortega and Brad Mehldau.

The soundtrack is due August 7 and the film, starring Mark Webber, Catalina Sandino Moreno ("Maria Full of Grace") and Michelle Williams, Laura Linney and the director (based on Ethan Hawke's eponymous debut novel), is out in late August.

Ethan, who asked buddy Harris to write the score writes:

"From our first conversation, I was overwhelmed by the quality of Jesse's songwriting and how perfectly matched it was to my aspirations for the tone and mood of the film. An idea began to develop: What if we scored the film entirely with original songs written by Jesse and performed by contemporary artists hand-picked to match certain scenes? To my mind this would give the entire film a continuity of authorship while still providing massive shifts in energy."

Jesse Harris said Feist knew which one of his songs she would cover immediately. "When I opened for Feist in Europe, I sang 'Somewhere Down the Road' every night. She loved it and asked me to teach it to her—she wanted to cover it. So when this project started, there was never any question what song she was going to record."

The collaboration with Cat Power however, wasn't as smooth. "It was quite an ordeal just getting in touch with her; she's a woman without an email address, she doesn't answer the phone, she doesn't have a manager and she only text-messages," Harris said, sounding annoyed. "I only talked to her once before going to Miami to record the track. We did it live in the studio, sitting across from each other, and then I added some banjo and she sang some backing vocals—that was it. She was really fast in the studio, and really great."

We also found an official trailer which has proved to be elusive thus far (aside from a badly dubbed Italian one we found a few weeks ago).
Watch: "The Hottest State" trailer

Overheard In The Media: Lilly Allen Hates Lohan, Chris Rock Steals From Bono

"I have been having a lot of lesbian dreams lately. I think I might be gay! Don't tell my boyfriend. I have guy dreams and girl dreams, but the girl dreams are much dirtier." and "I can't wait until Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. 'Boo hoo hoo. I'm going to jail.' Good. Does that mean you'll stop showing me your pussy now?" - the adorably uncensored pottymouth Lily Allen proves no matter what sensational filth comes out of her mouth, the Playlist will always remain a smitten fan of her candor. [NY Mag]

Do you have any future projects planned with Bono? A platinum single à la "Do They Know It's Christmas?" or "We Are the World," maybe?
"I do have a Bono project lined up. I plan to download U2's The Joshua Tree from LimeWire for free later this afternoon."- Chris Rock proves that while he might still be devilishly irreverent, he's still using incredibly antiquated file-sharing technology to search for albums everyone downloaded during the Napster era. [Vanity Fair]

Soundtrack Of The Day: Sexy Beast

James Lavelle aka UNKLE have a new record, War Stories, due July 24. Ben Kinglsey has a new movie, "You Kill Me," that was released nationwide last week. Ergo we look at the score to "Sexy Beast," which starred Ben Kingsley as a fierce sociopath, was scored by UNKLE with the assistance of British rock band South (whom Lavelle had taken under his wing at the time) and was directed by then first-time feature filmmaker Jonathan Glazer (who had directed UNKLE's celebrated "Rabbit In Your Headlines" video; Glazer also has the distinction of being the Director's Label series filmmaker with the least amount of videos under his belt).

The main theme, "Cocaine & Camcorders" is simple, but pure Lavelle: a dark, subterranean electronic bassline with sharp breakbeats that fuel not only the film's tangential caper drama, but brings the scorching tension from Kingsley's psychopathic character to a head.

This musical bass motif repeats itself all over the film and gives the film a sense of blistering pressure and offputting mystique (after all their is a weird, unexplained supernatural theme throughout). The score is simply, thick, sweaty and brimming towards discomfort. Roque Baños' simple, flamenco guitars are used in sharp contrast to provide the warmth between Ray Winstone and Julianne White's characters.

We forewarn: the dialogue over every single track gets a little annoying after a while when you just want to enjoy the music independently of the film, but such is life. It does provide context if you forget the film or just love Kingsley's character wonderfully insane dialogue.
Download: Unkle With South - "Cocaine & Camcorder"
Download: Unkle With South - "Logan's Run"
Download: Unkle With South - "Suicide"
Download: Roque Baños - "Gal & Dedee"

Heard 'Em Say: No Spidey For Raimi? Braff Is No Cad

"If I can't find the right story that would work for me and that I could tell really well, I would like someone else to tell that story." Sam Raimi subtly contemplates his exit from the Spider-Man franchise handcuffs. [MTV]

"I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I am in fact, merely doing what every other single 32-year-old man in NYC is doing this summer. I am dating." Zach Braff claims despite tabloid rumors, he is not a roofie-ing "toxic bachelor." Don't believe the hype he says despite thou doth protesting too much on his mypsace page. [Radar] and [Gawker]

"I was able to take problems of the soul and transform them into problems of art, to put on a disguise." - Despite a judicial verdict that says she defrauded a movie studio, Laura Albert still claims she is J.T Leroy. She also insists that the producers are trying to steal her life story. [NY Post]

- Who will play Hugh Hefner? One old rumor was Nic Cage (pass), either way fauxteur Brett Ratner says, "I want to show it all, from the First Amendment struggles to his first orgy to the stroke in the 1980s that almost killed." him." Expect many gratuitous beaver shots. [LA Times]

Morning ShortCuts: Christina, Stringer Bell, Hef Role

After channeling vamps like Marilyn Monroe, Jean Harlow and Veronica Lake for her '30s, '40s, '50s jazz blues record Back To Basics, it's no surprise that Christina Aguilera will vie for an acting career. This isn't really anything new. She told MTV back in 2002. "Something edgy would be good. I like the kind of roles Angelina Jolie usually plays, like 'Girl, Interrupted.' Something with substance." [AP]
- When we mentioned the casting of Guy Ritchie's "RocknRolla," we totally forgot to mention the excellent inclusion of Idris Elba (Stringer Bell from "The Wire"). Go String! [Variety]
- FunnyOrDie.com launchs the sequel to its viral video hit "The Landlord." The new video, again starring Will Ferrell and 2-year-old Pearl McKay (daughter of director Adam McKay), is called "Good Cop, Baby Cop."
- James Gandolfini has been shot by a closure-seeking fan. [The Onion]
- Oh and by now, we assume you've seen the EW shot of the key players in the Iron Man cast. Apparently Hilary Swank (not pictured) is making a cameo. [Coming Soon]

Download: Christina Aguilera - "Ain't No Other Man"

Margot's 'Houses'

When we first posted the trailer to Noah Baumbach's "Margot At The Wedding" trailer last week, stupid AOL made it so we couldn't update or edit the post after it had published. Nevermind you. We finally have both versions of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young's "Our House." The original and the Phantom Planet cover version. Which incidentally is quite lovely and nice, really bringing out the soft, wistful quality of the original.

Download: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - "Our House"
Download: Phantom Planet - "Our House"

Late-Day Dailies: Micheal Moore, Transformers, Guy Ritchie, Kevin Smith; More

[I] will be happy to debate DeLay in whatever prison he ultimately relocates to and allow ABC to cover that debate." —Michael Moore's responds to Tom DeLay, who called him "chicken" for canceling their debate. [Variety]
- The "Daft Transformers" (Daft Punk meets the original animated movie. Clever, right?) spoof video is mildly amusing we suppose. [Daily Motion]
- A whole page of Kevin Smith's new fart and dick joke porn film, " Zack and Miri Make a Porno" has a bunch of expletives and fart and dick jokes. Surprise, surprise. [EW]
- "He should keep his hands off my father. He should climb a mountain or go surfing in the Caribbean. I don't care what he does, so long as he keeps out of it." - Claus von Stauffenberg's son doesn't want Tom Cruise to have shit to do with his Third Reichy dad. [Spiegel Online]
- Having already offended feminist sensibilities with his torture porn films and their shamelessly misogynistic marketing campaigns, producer Courtney Solomon pushes further buttons with a Suicide-Girls-esque promotional party that may set a new standard for the politically incorrect. “The women’s groups definitely will love it,” Mr. Solomon hinted. “I call it my personal little tribute to them.” Classy. [New York Times]
- Tom Sizemore is going away for 16 months. [Yahoo]
- 10 Directors you didn't even know you hated. [A/V Club]
- "300" beefcake Gerard Butler, Tom Wilkinson, Thandie Newton and rapper Ludacris have all been cast in Guy Ritchie's "RocknRolla." Yet another caper film, Ritchie's thinking is clearly, if it ain't broke... [Reuters]

Germany Bans Tom Cruise Movie

Germans are awesome and apparently have no love lost for Scientologists. From Reuters:

Germany has barred the makers of a movie about a plot to kill Adolf Hitler from filming at German military sites because its star Tom Cruise is a Scientologist, the Defence Ministry said on Monday.

Cruise, also one of the film's producers, is a member of the Church of Scientology which the German government does not recognize as a church. Berlin says it masquerades as a religion to make money, a charge Scientology leaders reject.

The U.S. actor has been cast as Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, leader of the unsuccessful attempt to assassinate the Nazi dictator in July 1944 with a bomb hidden in a briefcase.

Defence Ministry spokesman Harald Kammerbauer said the film makers "will not be allowed to film at German military sites if Count Stauffenberg is played by Tom Cruise, who has publicly professed to being a member of the Scientology cult".

This amazingness pretty much speaks for itself.

Darjeeling Limited First Look

EW has scored a first look at images from Wes Anderson's "The Darjeeling Limited" (though it's not online yet). The film's script had allegedly leaked online back in the spring (we haven't read it), but apparently the film was about three brothers (Jason Schwartzman, Adrien Brody and Owen Wilson) on a quest to India for an albino tiger that may or may not be their dead father re-incarnated (who was rumored to be played by Bill Murray).

But possibly not. Anderson told EW, "You can't trust what you read on the Internet," adding that the film was "more raw" than his previous films (whatever that means exactly. Less pageantry?) "It takes various elements from the movie and distorts them, they're not searching for a tiger." According to Anderson, the brothers travel to India because "one of them organized this spiritual journey for them to bond," after the death of their dad, "but it really just turns into a bender."

Download: Mark Mothersbaugh "Let Me Tell You About My Boat" (mp3)

Now James Franco Gets Fired From "Knocked-Up"

First it was Michael Cera having a freak-out on the "Knocked Up" set, now it's James Franco in another David O. Russell-like spoof. That DVD is going to be loaded with extras at this point.

While You Were Sleeping, Shane West Somehow Got Cast As Darby Crash

OK, we all heard the rumor that Shane West (the not-so-bad-boy from " A Walk To Remember" with Mandy Moore) would play seminal L.A. punk figure Darby Crash, short-lived singer of the Germs, but we never really thought such a thing would come to pass.

Not only was West cast, but the movie, "What We Do Is Secret," has been shot and is in the can and premiered at the Los Angeles Film Festival over the weekend. Wisely, West was intuitive to realize he's never going to please everyone (or possibly anyone?). He told the LA Times, that playing Crash would be a "losing battle in general. I'm not ignorant enough to say that I could duplicate Darby's madness, intelligence and wit. But I became close with his family and friends, and that was the validation for me."

The legendarily self-destructive Crash flamed-out extremely early: he overdosed on heroin at 22 and his death was overshadowed by John Lennon's death that happened earlier the month of December, 1980. Though his life was shrouded in mystery, apparently his death was premeditated.

"He had a five-year plan to make his mark and then commit suicide, thereby ensuring his legend, " director Rodger Grossman said.

Back to Shane West. The twenty-something star was so committed to securing the Crash role he actually went on tour with the reformed original Germs members as the singer. Before this, West petitioned the Grossman hard; he endured three rounds of undoing dental prosthetics and actually helped out the filmmakers with a cash advancement to finish the film. How much? "Well, let's say — a Ferrari [worth]. And uh, a small car," West sort-of joked.

Apparently Grossman has been working on getting the Germs/Darby Crash story to the screen for 15 years. "This script was rewritten more times than probably any script I know of," he said. Despite working on a shoe-string budget, one key coup came when Germs guitarist Pat Smear (and ontime Nirvana/Foo Fighter member) and Grossman wrote a letter to David Bowie, convincing the English rock icon to license his epochal "Five Years" and "Rock and Roll Suicide" to the production.

Crash (born Jan Paul Beahm) romanticized fascist leaders and Grossman tried to use this to comic effect in the film. "Hitler used to have his architects make two models of the same building," Crash tells a friend in one revealing moment in the film, "one to see what it would look like when it was built, the other after it was destroyed."

Nylon TV has a decent video interview with cast members Shane West and Bijou "I Want To Be A Good Girl" Phillips (she plays the Germs' Lorna Doom) and original band members Lorna Doom and Pat Smear. Most interesting, is the tidbit by Phillips who said the film was all, but completed with only a few scenes left and financing fell through (as it had many, many years before; David Arquette was originally going to play Crash) and the cast had to wait an entire year to film the last few scenes (We think it's totally amazing/hilarious that "Spanish" from Old School plays Pat Smear).

Watch: "What We Do Is Secret" Trailer
(And damn, after all that writing, this thing looks awful)
Update 4.29.08: The old trailer went down, so we posted this one and from what we can recall, this seems like a much better, "professional" trailer

Morning ShortCuts: Brett Ratner, Evan Almighty, Zach Braff. Kill Bill 3 & 4?

"Evan Almighty" shits the bed with only $32 million dollars at the opening weekend box office numbers. Apparently this is a disaster of biblical proportions. Normally this is plenty for a comedy, but 'Almighty' cost a whopping $175 million. Apparently it needed $50 to set the track to recoup. Hope all that animal dung on set was worth it. [Yahoo]
- How fitting: chubby playboy wannabe Brett Ratner will direct "Playboy," a biopic based on the life of Hugh Hefner. [Variety]
- Too busy to write a "Garden State" sequel? Zach Braff has been too busy directing professional phone shot putter Naomi Campbell in Dunkin Donuts commercials. [Vulture]
Little Steven suggests up-and-coming bands that want sustainable careers better get their songs in a TV commercial, like quick fast. [Reuters]
- Bruce "Are You Living Free?" Willis is apparently a big fan of Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Architechture in Helsinki and the Strokes. [Stereogum]
- Bryan Singer out of "Superman II"? Brandon Routh told EW, "As far as I know, it's going to be called "Superman: Man of Steel" The mag says it's unclear whether Singer will return yet. [the Deal report doesn't appear to be online at EW yet] Meanwhile, Variety asks if the completed Justice League script will usurp the aforementioned Super sequel. [Variety]
- Is Tarantino considering doing two more Kill Bill sequels? [CHUD] My Chinese language studying friend cautions, "It's from a translation of a Chinese article. The Chinese press are worse than the UK for taking offhand remarks as statements of intent," so take the news with a grain of salt.

Download: Architechture in Helsinki - "Wishbone"

Overheard In The Media: Jack White, Patton Oswalt

"John C. Reilly called me up and asked if I would do it. I said, "Okay, but what year is it supposed to be?" He said 1957, so that was okay. I thought it was just going to be for cable or something. He sent the script over and it was really funny. It was from the guys who did the "The 40 Year Old Virgin" and "Anchorman." It's a parody of musical biopics and Reilly plays this made-up character who goes through these different periods and at one point he plays on a bill with Elvis Presley. And that's me." - Jack White explains the difficulties of landing film roles in Hollywood to Pitchfork. He will star in next year's Apatow mockuopic, "Walk Hard." There's some video of a similar conversation at MTV.

“I think ‘King of Queens’ was a really funny show. And as long as I’m out there doing stand-up, what difference does it make what else I do? That’s like someone saying they can’t listen to Richard Pryor’s old albums ever since they saw ‘Superman III.’ Really? Well, you’re an idiot then. ’Cause those albums are amazing.” - Patton Oswalt on the concept of selling out to the NY Times. The comedian is the unlikely star of the new Pixar movie, "Ratatouille."

"I want choices, I want options. I want to lay out all the directions I could go and have the ability to choose. I'm slowly starting to have that now."- Jessica Biel slowly earned acting clout by securing a role in "The Illusionist"; a role she only scored because another actress dropped out. Trying to change the producers minds, she arrived at the audition in full period costume.

Download: White Stripes - "Little Cream Soda"
Download: White Stripes - "Catch Hell Blues"
Download: Patton Oswalt - "Great Food Is Cooked By Psychos"

Asia Argento: Naked Cliché or Provocative Real-Deal?

“In Italy people think I’m a cliché; the dark lady, the bitch from hell. All they can see is that I’m naked.” - Provocative Italian sexpot cum erotic filmmaker/tattoo fetishist Asia Argento who routinely sheds her clothes, portraying caliginous, crazy bitches.
Well if the shoe fits...

Ok, while she may be a boilerplate shockateur, Argento is still a fascinating creature and arguably not without talent. The daughter of Italian horror legend, Dario Argento ("Suspiria") the actress/director helmed "Scarlet Diva" and the adaptation of JT Leroy's specious novel, "The Heart Is Deceitful among all things (see below for that full controversy).

The New York Times spoke to Argento this weekend about the three feel-good films she starred in at the recent Cannes Film festival that did wonders to contradict her lascivious and pornographic reputation.

"Old Mistress"
Argento plays a Spanish courtesan who laps the blood off the wounded chest of her lover. Later they have tearful sex net to a funeral pyre of their dead baby. Sounds like a ball of laughs. Argento frequently clashed with notoriously mindfucky-agitator director Catherine Breillat. “We had a few horrible blowups. She can terrorize people. She doesn’t like to be dominated, "Breillat told the Times. "She would burst into tears and go, ‘Catherine doesn’t like me.’ And I would say, ‘Look, your tears are costing us time.’ ” Argento said the director was “a tough cookie,” “a great intellectual,” “a control freak,” “like my mother” and “a crazy bitch.”

"Boarding Gate"
Argento plays an ex-prostitute and Michael Madsen portrays the lover engaged in increasingly physical high-stakes S&M games. Directed by Frenchman Oliver Assayas (who has his own bent for the transgressive), the two stars' kinky one-one-upmanship became unhinged with Argento leaving the set in tears and in one, painful and extreme moment, getting bit on her punanny. The insanely machoistic Madsen often took the domination foreplay too seriously and Argento had to persuade him to speak his submissive dialogue aloud. “There was a scene where he just couldn’t say the word ‘slave,’ so I started masturbating,” Argento said. “He was so taken off guard. It felt like the only thing I could do to make it work.” Bravo, now that's method acting.

"Go Go Tales"
Sleaze and low-life malcontent, Abel Ferarra — practically born to direct Argento — casts the perennial seductress as an exotic dancer who is apparently the “scariest, sexiest, most dangerous girl in the world” to ever skulk a titty bar stage (clearly a devotee she appeared in his, "New Rose Hotel" and has made a documentary about his corrosively depraved body of work). Ferarra couldn't say much to the Times cause his girlfriend was standing right there (and she and Argento had a run-in on set. "She’s awesome all the way” is all the cantankerous director could muster). The most-talked about scene in the film has Argento french kissing her onstage pet; a fiercely looking pitbull. At first she was wary of the scene, but warmed up to the dog. “He decided he loved me,” she said. “So to keep him calm I kissed him.” The punchline is the dog died after filming ended. Clips from the film can be seen here.