Latest 'Black Swan' Draft: A Major Improvement From The '07 Version

With the "Black Swan" recent casting announcements and news of Fox Searchlight being interested/signing on in distribution, we worked the angles and got ourselves an incredibly recent (Mark Heyman's turn, he supposedly polished "The Wrestler") draft of the script and took a look to see what's changed since a very early '07 draft by John J. McLauglin circulated around the web (and many have read). After reading McLaughlin's draft, we were intrigued-ish but let down and felt, in terms of Aronofsky, this flick would be more "Fountain" than "Wrestler." The script was clumsy, the writing was stiff, and the ending was predictable save the true identity of an evil nemesis or two. We could see Aronofsky improving on it, but it largely was a throwaway thriller devoid of spark.

And now, having read the ridiculously new draft, we're psyched to report that nearly everything except the basic concept, set-up, and storyline has been altered or changed completely since the '07 draft. If it's shot just so (Matthew Libatque is the DP, could go either way, he shot "Number 23") and designed just right (Therese DePrez is designing, nice work except for the too goofy "Dark Water"), "Black Swan" could be fun. Mark Heyman's version of the script feels confident in its characters and set-up (it's no character-driven drama, but still). Whether or not you figure out the ending beforehand doesn't seem to matter as much as the how the the entire story is being executed. We dug that and hope Aronofsky, Libatique, Portman, and Kunis can pull it off.

Loosely based on the ballet, "Swan Lake," the story follows the freaky existence of Nina, a twenty-something ballet dancer pining for the lead role in high-end production of Swan Lake in New York. Nina is obsessive, socially awkward, has ugly dancer-feet, and lives with her mother (an ex-dancer, to be played by Barbara Hershey). She's struggling to impress the bitchy, temperamental dance company director, Michael Brennan (Vincent Cassel), working overtime to keep other dancers from stealing her spotlight (Mila Kunis), and is constantly staving off a nagging sensation that she's totally losing her mind.

The new draft is far better written, more nuanced. It favors the psychological over the the supernatural aspects of the story's eccentricities, is CGI free (mostly fleeting, subtle and shock-and-awe imagery), and feels as much like an off-kilter drama as it does a thriller. The '07 draft had tricks, but they weren't as overt and off-putting, they never broke through the mildness of that draft. The new Heyman draft is trim, economic in its descriptions, thought out and simplified; it lets the shocks speak for themselves, keeps you uncomfortable, and off your desperate-to-figure-out-the-ending game long enough to where you've enjoyed the ride by the end.

The '07 daft was steeped too much in the what-the-fuck-was-that, not grounded enough in reality to be surprised by the freaky. In the new draft, we spend time with Nina and dance director Brennan while Brennan showcases his latest ingenue (after dumping his last; Beth, the Winona Ryder part), we spend a different night with Nina and Lily before they bust apart and become stone cold rivals (and do or don't totally have lady sex while on ecstasy), and we get a better sense of the stiff relationship between Nina and her mother (who was, incidentally, a dorm mother, not a blood mother in the earlier draft). Did we mention the sex scene? Though let's note, Portman recently said in V magazine, “it’s not raunchy—it’s extreme.”

The old and new endings are completely different. The old was a let down. It had a little flicker of "oh-so-that's-why" but the tracks leading up weren't laid judiciously enough. It wasn't completely tacked on, but wasn't grounded in the overarching metaphor of the story either, so it deflated. In the newest draft, the ending is knee deep in the not-so-subtle metaphor of the story, it's motifs come together in the end.

In terms of the cast, there's tons of scenery for Portman to chew here (to us, she's a talented, but cerebral actress who hasn't felt right in the majority of her roles, save for "Beautiful Girls" and a few moments in "Closer"), her Nina is a cerebral dancer who can't let go (big stretch). Kunis will easy slink into the role of Lila, no problem there. Winona will be fine in the role of Beth (character kinda "meh," but what d'ya gonna do). Cassel is a nice fit for Brennan (we kept seeing Baryshnikov), we just hope his diva has dimension, the role could easily be played as one note. We're confused by Barbara Hershey's casting. Sure, she's been great in the past ("Hannah and Her Sisters"), we're just not sure she's right for this. Someone with a slightly larger presence (Streep was rumored to be entertaining the idea, we think Glenn Close would have nailed it) would have been better here. But overall, we're happy.

In summary, well played, Mark Heyman. Consider us re-interested.