George Lucas's Next Project, 'Mutt Williams And The Search For Elvis'?

While at the Cannes Film Festival in May, George Lucas had answered questions on the fate of the Indy series by assuring MTV news that he was going to work towards another installment that didn't necessarily center around Indiana Jones. But just this week, he recanted this statement while admitting to MTV news that idea was pretty retarded, and in his words it kind of "Nuked the Fridge."

"Indiana Jones is Indiana Jones, Harrison Ford IS Indiana Jones," Lucas said, conceding that he can only take his franchises so far before people stop watching. While dismissing rumors about the Shia LaBeouf/ Mutt Williams spin off, he may have let on to his newest project. "If it was Mutt Williams it would be 'Mutt Williams and the Search for Elvis' or something."

George, been thinking about that one much?

He also went on to state that despite the "Crystal Skulls" backlash he is planning an "Indiana Jones V." "We are looking for something for him to go after," Lucas said. "They are very hard to find. It's like archeology. It takes a huge amount of research to come up with something that will fit." Hmm, sounds to us like LaBeouf better clear his schedule and get ready for searching for a fat Elvis in Vegas jumper.
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George Lucas Talks 'Indy 5' Without Laughing

George Lucas is a misunderstood genius who is being held back by that over-involved loser Steven Spielberg... or at least, that's what he would want you to believe. In a recent interview with the Times Online, Lucas - with a straight face - discussed the possibility of an "Indiana Jones 5" and promptly took a shit on his mere underling buddy, Steven Spielberg. While discussing his upcoming animated star wars film, "The Clone Wars," (dude, that shit prequel came out a long time ago, move on) he also talked a 5th Indiana Jones movie.

"If I can come up with another idea that they like, we'll do another. Really, with the last one, Steven wasn't that enthusiastic. I was trying to persuade him. But now Steve is more amenable to doing another one. Yet we still have the issues about the direction we'd like to take. I'm in the future; Steven's in the past. He's trying to drag it back to the way they were, I'm trying to push it to a whole different place. So, still we have a sort of tension. This recent one came out of that. It's kind of a hybrid of our own two ideas, so we'll see where we are able to take the next one."

Would the fact that Spielberg wasn't into the "Crystal Skulls" have anything to do with the fact that it was one of the dumber movies he had been forced to direct in his career? But it didn't stop there, Lucas continued to display his disgust at the fact that Harrison Ford and Spielberg have become bigger stars than him.

"Indiana Jones only becomes complicated when you have another two people saying 'I want it that way,' whereas, when I first did Jones, I just said, 'We'll do it this way' and that was much easier. But now I have to accommodate everybody, because they are all big, successful guys, too, so its a little hard on a practical level."

Poor guy. Yeah George, we agree, it is totally annoying when some unproven hack like Steven Spielberg tries to butcher a masterpiece like "Crystal Skulls." Lucas also said he wished those annoying fans would leave him alone and let him make his art house films without disturbance.

"I can't say yet, but [my next films will] be personal. In fact, I'd sooner just make them and not even release them, just put them on the shelf, like ships in a bottle." For once we agree with you, we think that plan would work out better for all of us, frankly.

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Comic/Sci-Fi Nerd Edition: Peter Berg To Direct Hercules, Lucas Fucks With 'Star Wars' Again

Since we are on the eve of Comic-Con. Fly safe, you poindexters.

Peter Berg, the actor turned director, has signed on for a modern and apparently "fresh," new take on the story of Greek mythology strongman, "Hercules: The Thracian Wars." It basically sounds like another "300" clone with shades of "Troy" thrown in for good measure, but like all things these days, it's based on based on a five-issue comic book series by Steve Moore via Radical Publishing. Berg directed "The Kingdom," one of the worst movies of the year so far "Hancock," and is developing a remake of Frank Herbert's sci-fi novel, "Dune," famously fucked up by David Lynch in the '80s who thought he was making an art film. 'Hercules' will likely make good competition for the toga parties that are the "Clash of The Titans" remake and the oily "War of Gods" project by silly fruitcake Tarsem [Singh]. [Variety]

George "I Can't Stop Tinkering With My Life's Work" Lucas plans to further tarnish the already sullied memory of the "Star Wars" universe, by transposing the original six films into the 3D format. Think about how far out the jump to hyperspace is going to be. [ComingSoonvia Vulture]

"X Men" /"Superman Returns" director Bryan Singer is once again getting into the super heroes business with Warner Brothers. However, this time he will only produce the project known as "Capeshooters," a film that chronicles two slackers who specialize in shooting videos of superheroes. It's also based off a graphic novel. [Hollywood Reporter]

Having now realized now matter how much you've ruined a movie franchise with PT. 6 cash-grabs you can always recycle reboot the project with a "darker, gritter" tone, Hollywood will hit the restart key on every project that ever made a dime. Next up is a remake of "Nightmare On Elm Street." A new writer has been hired on the project, blah, blah,blah... [Hollywood Reporter]
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George Lucas Probably Not Making Those 'Personal Films' Anytime Soon, Throws Francis Ford Coppola Under The Bus While Saying So

Wasn't it just three years ago around the end of "Revenge Of The Sith" promotion that George Lucas said he wanted to leave the world of big-budget space epic operas to concentrate on smaller, more personal films like 1971 dystopian film, "THX1138"?

In a New York Times article from Sunday, June 29, discussing the upcoming animated film and television project, "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," Lucas not only suggested these personal projects would probably never come to pass, he threw his longtime pal Francis Ford Coppola under the bus while saying so.

The Times says Lucas learned a lesson from Coppola's arty metaphysical 2007 film, "Youth Without Youth," that only played 18 theaters in the U.S. and grossed only $250,000. “Did you see it?” Lucas asked rhetorically. “Uh, no. Did you even know it came out?”

For his part, Coppola said he was well aware his films weren't going to be blockbusters made for mainstream audiences and the personal risk was the whole point. "We make films for ourselves. If no one wants to see them, what can we do?” He shrugged, “Emotion does much better at the box office than philosophy."

As for "Star Wars: The Clone Wars,"the feature-length version which is set to come out August 15, Lucas financed the movie and TV shows himself, reportedly for $750,000 to $1 million per episode. And of course the irritable, impatient and perennially intolerant Lucas basically said he pitched studios with his patently petulant, "it's my way or the highway" approach to filmmaking, business and life.

“It’s much easier for me to just do the show I want, say, ‘Here it is, do you wish to license it or not?’ ” Lucas told the Times. “That’s it. There’s no notes, no comments. I don’t care what your opinion is. You either put it on the air or you don’t.”

Lucas did suggest he still has the chance to make "personal films," but it seemed like lip service from a guy who doesn't seem to crave making anything that doesn't have blockbuster appeal. Plus he's still working on a live-action "Star Wars' TV series (a milieu he can't seem to let go). Is he going to make personal films in his 80s? Still, he insists it could happen. “I can go and make half a dozen ‘THXes.’ I’ll lose everything I put into them, guaranteed. But I can have a lot of fun doing it.”
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What Might Have Been: Original Script Previews: 'Indy 4,' 'The Happening'

Guess what? (Said in storybook gentle voice:) Frequently when someone writes a screenplay, more than one version is written. Often times a screenwriter will undergo what are called draft revisions, which means editing and tweaking, and improving the story via modification, reconsideration and deeper reviews. Generally, revisions (not handed down by studio notes) mean improvement.

That is if you're "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skulls," and you're tweaked for the worse by George Lucas (or are least hired to implement his heavy-handed imperical changes). Obviously Frank Darabont's ("The Shawshank Redemption) original script, "Indiana Jones And The City of The Gods," recently leaked (or at least we're all pretty sure it was Darabont's script). The prospect of reading it however was frightening simply because we'd rather not devote that kind of time to to a lame-duck franchise.

Thankfully, MTV took the time to read the original script and compared notes to the final script penned by work-for-hire writer David Koepp and more importantly, permitted and endorsed by Darth Lucas. About the original 'City of the Gods' script they say there are "moments of real beauty in this thing. "As noted previously, one of the most glaring differences in Darabont's script is the absence of Mutt, Shia Labeouf's sitcom-like kid character (the type that comes in during the waning years to breathe new life into a dead horse). Other differences include:
- No inclusion of the Mac character (Ray Winstone)
- a tougher "Raiders Of The Ark"-like Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen); She's married, but not to Jones
- a climax that actually give Indiana something to do - rather than stand their nonplussed by aliens. One that "forces him to make a decision that rivals the end of "Crusade," crystallizing the character and his history into one momentous singularity. Bravo!" writes MTV obviously impressed.

Their overall verdict? While their surprisingly were still moments of fromage in Darabont's version (the Tarzan-like jungle abomination seems to be his creation), they say, "not perfect," but "a million times better than "Crystal Skull." Yikes, cue Darabont's smug, "I told you so," as he sits back and forwards this MTV story to Lucas and all his friends.

Conversely, Vulture, who has reviewed an early draft of M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening," claim unsurprisingly, that we should all be so lucky: as the original draft is even worse than the one released Friday in theaters. They also bemoan its lack of existence as we could have had a righteously riotous comedy on our hands if the original script had come to pass.

The main differences? "The Happening" (which we will never pay to see) apparently gives off the message that true love can conquer all, even diseases emitted into the air by angry and deadly deciduous trees. It's the message however, subtext.

In the original script, "The Green Effect," its right on the surface, in fact, on top of it.
- Mark Wahlberg's heroic science teacher realizes that the film's evil plants can't kill you with their suicide-causing neurotoxins if they think you're a good person (actual line of dialogue: "This is the final trigger, Alma! They're weeding out our energy! They've become a mood ring. When they see a When they see a color they don't like, it sets them off"). [ed. amazing]
- Trees apparently "whisper mischievously" to one another
- The trees in 'Effect' apparently spare Wahlberg and his unfaithful wife because they know, their relationship is worth saving.

Deep stuff. Sounds frighteningly hilarious. Maybe someone outta dig up this script and do it up camp style just for kicks. Shyamalan's stories are basically comedies anyhow, right? We're kinda dying to read this ironic disaster now.
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Frank Darabont's Shia-Free 'Indiana Jones 4' Script Leaks Like You Knew It Would

Man, Frank Darabont is kicking back, feeling smug and thinking, "I told you fuckers." Now that "Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Ridiculous Space Aliens" has been released and the world has seen how sub-par, absurd and retarded most of it was, the "Shawshank Redemption" director, who was originally commissioned to write Indiana Jones 4 in 2002, has leaked the original script. Err... umm... well, someone leaked the script (gee, we wonder who?).

Some people have quickly parsed the script and said the biggest omission of the film is that Shia LaBeouf's toughguy annoying side-kick punk isn't in the film (we're also glad to know we weren't the only ones who thought the Tarzan-like jungle scene in 'Indy 4' was totally inane and hilariously outlandish). Also, Sean Connery as Indiana's dad was also in the Darabont script, but he dropped out regardless.

Darabont called working on the script a "waste of a year." Spielberg loved it, but George Lucas read it, and felt it was too good, too un-preposterous and didn't include enough laughable aliens and so there's no love lost between the two of them (Darabont has been vocally bitter about it). In April 2007:

"Indy" showed me how badly things can go. I spent a year of very determined effort on something I was very excited about, working very closely with Steven Spielberg and coming up with a result that I and he felt was terrific. He wanted to direct it as his next movie, and then suddenly the whole thing goes down in flames because George Lucas doesn't like the script.

And Darabont told Lucas exactly what he thought about him poo-pooing the idea. "I told him he was crazy. I said, 'You have a fantastic script. I think you're insane, George.' You can say things like that to George, and he doesn't even blink. He's one of the most stubborn men I know."

Even though some elements of his script were present in 'Crystal Skulls,' Darabont didn't receive a writing credit which further fueled his anger at Lucas. "Honestly our storytelling sensibilities have diverged to the point where that would be a pointless exercise," Darabont said of the possiblity of ever working with Lucas again (an early insider read the Darabont-free version of Indy 4 and told the director that much of his original concept was in the film, which probably only served to piss him off more when months later he was told he wasn't receiving credit; at one point he expected their to be a fight over credit, but either way, he lost.).

Is this Darabont's final revenge? Is it payback from someone else on his behalf? Or is it just some concerned citizen who got his mitts on the script and wants to defend quality and combat mediocrity in all its Lucas-like forms?
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'Indiana Jones 4' Makes $311 Million Worldwide Despite Being Ridiculous, Predictable And Worst Film In The Series

We wanted to somehow acknowledge Indiana Jones' massive box-office success this holiday weekend, but Spoutblog's "Blah blah blah Indiana Jones, blah blah blah $311 million worldwide," is our favorite dismissive take on the very-subpar 4th installment of the Lucas/Spielberg/Harrison Ford McFranchise that basically says it all.
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American Graffiti-Style Film Confirms 'Freaks & Geeks' Star Sam Weir Not Dead; Just Not Playing In Apatow Sandbox

We at the at the Playlist are big fans of "Freaks & Geeks," the little one-hour sitcom produced by Judd Apatow in the late '90s that paved the way for him to be the big cheese that he is today.

And we still have a lot of fondness for the actors on the show, many of whom now are starring players in the Apatow Family players troupe - except for one glowing omission: little Sam Weir (John Francis Daleypan>), essentially the star of "Freaks & Geeks" (arguable, but whatever).

But he's never (to our recollection) turned up in an Apatow film project (at least certainly not a major role), so we assumed - like many kid actors who grow up - he was off in some k-hole, pants around ankles with no clue what his current home address is.

But no, he's alive! Patrick Read Johnson's autobiographical indie film "77," chronicles the director's journeys in Hollywood with a young George Lucas and Steven Spielberg and guess who stars? Little John Francis Daley!

The film, originally named "5/25/77" after the release date of "Star Wars," is a nostalgic take on the director's encounters with Industrial Light and Magic execs. "Freaks and Geeks" lead John Francis Daley stars.

The film is evidently kinda meta."It's an 'American Graffiti'-style film about the people who made 'American Graffiti." Wait, who will play Lucas?? Who will play Spielberg?? (since it's autobiog, we can assume, Daley plays Johnson) Dude, we're just happy Sam Weir isn't sucking dick for change. [Hollywood Reporter]

PS, we saw the trailer for this thing and it sadly looks dreadful and budget. Poor Sam.
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Indiana Jones The Premiere; Ford Has A "Degree Of Confidence" You May, Possibly, Sort-Of Enjoy This Film... Maybe... Indy 5? No Good Ideas Yet

This is not meant to be a boast or a tease - after all it's "Indiana Jones" and you clearly know by now we don't really care. But we see Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skully-Thingy tomorrow at noon and the film is receiving its "world premiere" tomorrow at Cannes.

France is basically 6 hours ahead, (it's 12:09 a.m. as we speak/write), but presumably the screening will be some sort of gala evening in the evening (presumably?) We will the pleeb blog see it before the rest of the "world"? Surely, bigger-name critics have already seen the film at proper review screenings, no? Something to consider on a Saturday afternoon while having a beer....

Meanwhile, Harrison Ford is convinced you're going to think this is the year's best film. You've gotta love this couched quote. It almost sounds like an apology. "We have a degree of confidence that it will be an experience that people will enjoy," said Ford.

Ha! What is that?!? A "degree of confidence"? Oh, my.

As for the alleged Indy 5? Remember Steven Spielberg and Ford have to OK, George Lucas' terrible ideas. Ideas that he appears to be well aware aren't really adored by anyone. "Harrison, Steven and I haven't talked about it. We can't do it unless I can come up with a good idea, which I haven't."
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Harrison Ford Strongly Implies George Lucas Has Shit For Taste; 'Indy 4' Won't Be "Wacky" Enough For Lucas (Audiences Sigh In Relief)

Everyone who has a pair of eyes and saw the 'Star Wars' prequels knows George Lucas has shit for taste. Hell, even Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford are completely aware of it and have alluded to it many times. It's been noted ad nauseum that resurrecting the 'Indiana Jones' franchise took a decade because all three principals, Spielberg, Ford and Lucas had veto power and the two reasonable members of the trio couldn't agree with Lucas' original idea, one that the AP is calling an "way-out-there initial idea."

In the same interview Ford alludes to the alien theme that is likely running (about to ruin?) "Indiana Jones & The Crystal Skulls" and again basically mentions that Lucas is an idiot.

"It was the three of us, Steven, George and I, coming to agreement on the central notion of it all," Ford said. "I think the original idea is still a large piece of it in the movie, but it's been developed and worked on in ways that made it a lot more palatable to Steven and I."

Translation: Lucas is a stubborn fuck and insisted that there be some Roswell-like aliens from outer space central theme in 'Indy 4' and we finally relented, but it's done in a tasteful way that hopefully shouldn't turn off everyone who's childhood's were ruined by the shitty 'Star Wars' prequels.

You'll remember earlier in an Entertainment Weekly article:
At one point George Lucas thought that since the film was going to be set in the 1950s (to jive with Ford's now advancing age) the genre should match that era: aliens invading Earth in spaceships (or some shit like that) with the military in hot pursuit (a popular genre trope of the '50s obviously). Hilariously, Harrison Ford wasn't with it. "No way am I being in a Steve Spielberg movie like that," he told Entertainment Weekly," with seemingly near disgust at Lucas' original concept.

The AP writes:

Though the filmmakers have been tightlipped on the plot, the era - 1957 instead of the 1930s - and the trailer's image of a crate marked ''Roswell, New Mexico, 1947,'' imply aliens are involved. Roswell is where UFO buffs claim an alien spaceship crashed in 1947. Just as the first three Indy flicks were inspired by the supernatural B-movies of the 1930s, Lucas conceded he took his cue for the new film from the equivalent of the 1950s, when B-movies centered on extraterrestrial menace.

And they further bring home the point that Ford and Spielberg hate Lucas' ideas. Hell the "filmmaker"/CGI-enthusiast knows it himself and it sounds like there's not enough ridiculousness for his taste, in other words, he had to compromise (gasp!).

"The MacGuffin of it slowed down a little bit from what my original enthusiastic version was. Again, that's the way it works with Steven and Harrison and I,'' Lucas told the AP. ''We're not going to do anything anyone's uncomfortable with. We want to do something everybody likes, we in the group, the three of us. They wanted to go off on some other tangent. I said, 'I'm not going to do that. I'm going to stick with this no matter what, so we either do this or we don't. That's it.' Finally, we got something that we could all compromise on and all be happy with. It wasn't quite as wacky as I wanted it to be, but it still is subtle and nice and works really well and has the same idea behind it.''

Hilarious. There you have it. Aliens involvement in 'Indy 4' basically confirmed.
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George Lucas Attempts To Manage Your Already-Pitiful 'Indiana Jones 4' Expecations; More

Random Short Cuts
We apologize for not blogging yesterday, we had a massive project to get out the door. You know, paying gigs and all. But things happened yesterday you should paid attention to. Here's a greatest hits.

George Lucas took a preemptive apologist strike at those nerds who already think "Indiana Jones 4" will suck dogballs yesterday by admitting he knows you'll be disappointed. The director/producer CGI-enthusiast basically said he holds nothing precious and prepared audiences to have your sense of nostalgia destroyed. "It's just a movie. Just like the other movies. You probably have fond memories of the other movies. But if you went back and looked at them, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up." [USA Today]

Fabulous outsider filmmaker John Waters tries to dig at R.E.M's Michael Stipe for coming out of the closet more than once? (publicity whore) [New York Magazine]

Sir Ian McKellan confirmed that if all goes as planned (i.e. if Peter Jackson and he have his way), he will return as Gandalf in the "Hobbit" film mostly likely to be directed by Guillermo del Toro. [Film Guardian]

Elizabeth Banks got cast as first lady Laura Bush in Oliver Stone's upcoming George W. Bush screed. Josh Brolin is already signed on to play Dubya and as for Connie Rice? We humbly suggest Halle Berry, you know she'd be perfect with her "Storm" like hairdo. James Cromwell will play George Sr. and the great Ellen Burstyn will portray Barbara. [Empire]

Steve Earle played "The Wire" theme song - "Way Down In The Hole" by Tom Waits - on David Letterman. We poured out another 40 for our beloved Bmore crew. [Stereogum] Creator David Simon actually lectured to (or at?) Columbia journalism students last night in New York and we were very tempted to try and sneak in, but the callings of birthdays and beer were more important. Anyone have a report? We're dying to hear.

Someone thinks there's a market out there for $35 movie tickets that come with bells, whistles, questionable massages and the like. [Variety]
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Geriatric Indiana Jones Battles Aliens And Nazis For Last Sexagenarian 'Crystal Skulls' Hurrah?

We have to admit when the swelling John Williams "Indiana Jones" score began we got kind of excited and then the trailer progressed and we became more and more disinterested to the point of just shrugging and thinking there's no real point to it all other than make some more money.

The inclusion of Shia Labeouf is pretty much akin to that moment every television sitcom has trying to pump new life into their sagging show and introducing a new, younger, cuter, funnier kid (see "Growing Pains," "Diff'rent Strokes" et al). What we think won't make the slightest dent on how gangbusters this is going to do at the box-office, but to those planning on spending their hard-earned money and time on this film, we wish you the best of luck.
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'Indiana Jones 4' Preview Reconfirms George Lucas' Commitment To Being An Obdurate Jackass

Why are we blogging about this film? Why do we even care? Mostly because of our perennial distaste for George Lucas who has time and time again proven himself to being one of the biggest, loathsome boneheaded jackasses in the history of cinema (see destroying Star Wars Pts. 1-3 among the many dubious revisionist moves he's made over the years).

Vanity Fair has a pretty great preview piece on "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" and there's tons of little, characteristically asshole anecdotes about Lucas supplied by others and himself.

First off it was Lucas' way or the highway, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford (another crusty jackass), the director and fucking star, be damned:

Lucas supervised The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, a TV series which ran first on ABC, then on the USA Network, and won 10 Emmys. While filming a 1993 episode in which Ford made a cameo appearance, Lucas happened on something that gave him the idea for a fourth movie installment. He mentioned it to [Ford], who wasn’t too impressed. Lucas later told Spielberg about his new concept, only to find that the director wasn’t so hot on the idea, either, although generally warm to the notion of a fourth film.

But Lucas was adamant. It was this idea or nothing.

Anyone who knows Lucas well enough won't find this a huge surprise, but it is sort of amusing. More.

When Ford and Spielberg both rejected the idea, Lucas dug in. He hired screenwriter after screenwriter to make his MacGuffin the linchpin of a new Indy story. “So this went on for 15 years,” he says. “And finally we got to a point where everybody said, ‘Look, we’re not doing that movie.’ And I said, ‘Well, look, I can’t think of another MacGuffin. This is it. This works. I know this works.’ And then we stopped. I just said, ‘O.K.,’ and that’s about the time I started Star Wars again. But then Harrison was kind of interested. And I said, ‘I won’t do it unless we can have that MacGuffin. Without the MacGuffin, I will not go near this thing.’”

A MacGuffin by the way, popularized by Alfred Hitchcock, refers to an object or goal that kicks the story into action and drives it to the third act (and the way Hitch did it, it was usually a side-dish to the story's real narrative - see "Psycho" and the bag of stolen money that starts the story, but has nothing to do with the film's outcome).

Ford can now (repeat "now") laugh at Lucas' asshole obdurateness.

“He’s a stubborn sucker,” the actor says, “and he had an idea that he kept pushing into script form, and then they’d run it by me, and I’d usually rebel, and, finally, you know, one script came along that really struck me as being smart, not working too hard to give reference to the other films, but that carried on the stories we had told so far in a logical way. The character was allowed to age, and we found ourselves in a different period of time, and what I read was a great script, so I said, ‘Let’s go, let’s make this one.’”

Well, at least if it sucks donkey balls (which it probably will), everyone in the universe knows who to blame. We'd like to think that the reason Sean Connery couldn't be coaxed out of retirement for this thing was his contempt for Lucas.

Spoilers and More Revisionism
Apparently Indy 4 won't have the supernatural twist everyone was expecting and instead it will move towards the realm of science-fiction.

Oh and the best part of Lucas revisionism idiocy? Apparently "Raiders of the Lost Ark" has now been renamed. It's new title? "Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark." Cause you know, at this point if there were no Indiana in the title, no one would know what this movie was about. Retarded.

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George Lucas "Confirms" What Everyone Already Knew About Star Wars TV Show - Lazy Lemming Journalists Follow Others Off Cliff Regardless

What's with certain journalists these days. Everyone is making us ill. This week, it's the rubbernecking deadline hacks of the movie world.

It started like this: The L.A. Times wrote a quick and innocuous story with neckbeard George Lucas where he talked about his upcoming Stars Wars TV show.

The slight problem was twofold, with the writers and the readers. The headline was "George Lucas Planning 'Star Wars' TV Series" and the news world lit up like wildfire (google news? 351 related stories on this topic).

The only problem? This story is at least a year old and Lucas has talked about this series ad nauseum to any one within earshot (and also very recently); people at the mall, your mom, Wired, TV Guide, you name it, they heard it. However, the world took it as a bonafide announcement (look we don't write about Star Wars or Lucas often, but even we knew this had been in the works forever - here's just one example from March 2006).

So there was at least new information in the L.A. Times piece, yes? Survey says: absolutely fucking not. While there is very recent news this week about screenwriters being hired to work on Lucas' Star Wars TV show, the Angeles Times has no mention of that whatsoever (take this as the power of a headline and the power of general stupidity and laziness).

So why the hubub and all the 'OMG's' fatuous reporting ? Because apparently if any even semi-respectable rag writes "Fatty Arbuckle to Star in ET Sequel Directed By Alfred Hitchcock," the pay-check cashing lazy asses in the media (not really the blog world this time) will regurgitate it happily like last week's dinner.

You people make me want to wretch. :)
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Short Cuts: More Star Wars? Spidey 4 Villains; Other Nerd News

- Neckbearded CGI-buff George Lucas said that there will be two more Star Wars films, but they will not feature members of the Skywalker family and focus on other characters of "that milieu." Let's hope his sharp, oh-do-dynamic directing skills are put to good use again. The glasshouse-smashing toy-licensee also called "Spider-Man 3" "silly." OK , then. [Coming Soon]
- Speaking of, some nerdlinger who claims he broke the Venom as "Spider-Man 3" villain new (congratulations?) is claiming he has the lead on the not-even-confirmed "Spider-Man 4" film villains. They include, the Lizard and Carnage (who?). Many happy returns to you.
- Mike Myers is considering tarnishing the DIY punk-rock aesthetic of "Austin Powers" with a 4th installment in the series. We're crushed. [IF Magazine]
- We may have to disavow our favorite new comedian Demetri Martin for appearing in the new Fountains of Wayne video. His Clearification shorts are so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend watching them.
- Canadians are apparently swashbuckling movie pirates. [Yahoo]
- We're not the only one thinking "The Sopranos" is dying a slow death. However, didja notice Rush's "Tom Sawyer" when Tony comes home and pulls out his sawed-off shotgun? The lame version of Issac Hayes "Walk on By" was killing us. [AV Club]
- Tim Roth will be a villain in the new, starting-over "Hulk" movie which basically asks you to suspend your disbelief about the first Hulk movie's existence. [Coming Soon]
-Kirsten Dunst is going to play Debbie Harry? Antonion Banderas doesn't even know he's supposed to be in "Sin City 2" [MTV]
- Or instead of "Sin City" will Rodriguez just do "The Jetsons" instead? [EW]
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Late-Day Dailies: Chloë's BJ, Borat, J-LO; More

- Four years after the fact, “Brown Bunny,” actress/fellatist Chloë Sevigny is still mildly-traumatized by the press’ mortified reaction to her bj scene in the aforementioned, controversial Vincent Gallo film. However, she doesn’t fully disavow the physical onscreen act itself. “I really believed in [Gallo] as an artist… perhaps if it had come out at a different time people would've reacted to it differently. Making it for me was not difficult, but the reaction from the public has been very difficult for me to handle.” [IMDB]
- Sacha Baron Cohen, aka the anti-Semitic Kazakhstani Borat Sagdiyev, is allegedly going to play flamboyant (gay) cross-dresser Freddie Mercury in an upcoming biopic according to the indie-zealots at Stereogum. This news is about as reliable as their musical endorsements.
- The trailer to the new Jennifer Lopesz/Enrique Iglesisas salsa biopic “El Cantate” is online. EW likes to call it her “comeback” after Bennifergate, but these selective, short-term memory braniacs shouldn’t forget, “Monster-In-Law” with Jane Fonda. Despite your likely disdain for the film, in the interest of fairness (something we surprisingly adhere to), the film was financially success if not exactly a runaway hit.
- Introducing the “Drom-Com” (dramatic-romantic comedy). You’re welcome.
The rom-com "License To Wed" trailer, starring alarmingly-adorable, questionably intelligent Mandy Moore, is also online. The trailer utilizes an MC Hammer reference plus the refreshing comedic skills of Robin Williams.
- Spider Man-3" is apparently not impressing anyone.
- Shirtless, shit-faced Hasselhoff eating cheesburger on floor: Must...look...away...quickly.
- Indiana Jones 4 is locked and ready to go, yes? Sean Connery's character is in the script, but the curmudegonly Scottsman has apparently not yet agreed to appear in the film. No problem says quicker-fixer-upper CGI-enthusiast George Lucas, "If he doesn't do it, we'll do a quick rewrite." See just how easy movie-making is? [Coming Soon]
- Welcome to the newest strain of indie-genre, "Mumblecore." [Filmakermagazine]
-Whaddaya know? Fred Durst actually won an award at the Tribeca Film Festival.[MTV]
*Updated: As we assumed, Stereogum was wrong. The rumors that Sascha Baron Cohen would play Freddie Mecury are false. [MTV]

Download: Vincent Gallo - "Apple Girl"
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